Playing with Fire
by windii
Summary: An extraordinary pirate called Lilly Tanner ends up in a rather interesting situation where she suddenly plays strip poker with Jack Sparrow. Oh, the jolly things which followed. Read it, if ye dare... (Humor is included, written in 1st person.)
1. The Challenge

_A/N:_ Good evening, ladies and gents. This is a totally new ficcy by me, first PotC related though, so tell me right a way if I'm going wrong somewhere with the characters and feel free to shout at me if they're all too out of it. Hope you enjoy reading and remember to review, buddies, or else you'll be sure to lose a few toes! Arr!

_Disclaimer:_ Gah! Are YOU telling ME that I'm the bloody owner of Pirates of the Caribbean, the best pirate movie in centuries?!?! Would like to be, but no, I'm 'fraid that you came to the wrong gal, mate. (points at Disney) those are the lucky rich bastards!

_Summary:_ Young Lilly Tanner is an extraordinary pirate. Avast and Ahoy! Here she comes, better watch out you scurvy buccaneers for you have never seen this kind of lass before in your dead-lights. This is a story about how a simple game of strip poker enjoyed with rum, lead them to so much more; a brand new adventure, raw lust, strong passionate hate, deep jealousy, dark secrets and a lot of surprises……

Read it! Now or I'll keelhaul ye!

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Playing with Fire

Chapter One: The Challenge

"'Ey, Lilly Tanner! Drag yer filthy excuse o' a lady's ass over here or I'll make sure ye pay yer drinks tonight!" I heard a rough yell from somewhere amidst the tobacco smokes and alcohol odours that filled my senses when I sauntered through the candlelit room of a tavern called the Singing Seaman, a very popular place in Nassau port.

"One more threat like tha', Jim, and I'll be pleased to flog ye!!" I shouted back across the scallywag-infested room where the music was played happily by a few musicians. "And……I do have a lady's butt, a fine one o' those……wanna see it?" I told Jim the barman with a wiggle of my eyebrows once I sat down behind the counter with a puff.

"I rather not, gal, I could faint, y'know," said Jim with a grin.

"Just make sure ye won't swoon on me, matey," I told him with a wink.

Jim shook his head with a low mutter.

"Stay conscious, old man. I'll be wantin' me rum, ain't that right, me dearie?" I said, rubbing my belly with twinkling eyes. "Aye, aye, it says." I added, looking up at Jim and a mug of rum in front of my nose. "Ye sure are some kind o' unnatural thing, for ye can read me mind, dog. Thanks to ye, I'm equipped to splice the main brace!" I grabbed the keg and took a long chug, savouring the bittersweet taste in my mouth.

"Guess someone just whispered the word 'rum' in me ear, Lil," the bartender said, scurrying back and forth behind the counter, handing drinks to other customers.

"If tha' floats yer boat……" I muttered and leaned a bit over the wooden table between us, motioning for him to come closer. "Seen any pretty ships in dock, Jim? Crews or captains I could perhaps have a bit _fun_ with?" I asked in a low voice. He looked around a moment before saying;

"Two pirate ships with both o' the captains and the crews somewhere around this ol' town. But don't ye go near 'em, lass. The almighty Lord would be ready to hang you if he knew what kind of devilry runs through that rum-shrunken brain of yers……and I can only guess."

"Dear Jim, me heartie, I ain't thinking of any sort of devilry, nor is my brain shrunk by rum, it's only in the process, catch my drift?" I said grinning mysteriously as Jim rolled his eyes at me in annoyance and turned.

I took another sip of my rum and licked my lips afterwards. "I managed to miss ye fer a few hours, lad. Ye shouldn't leave yer mistress in distress……drink up me hearties yo ho!" I downed the rest of the drink, soon requesting another.

"Yer mother is turning around in her grave considering the amount o' liquor that tiny body of yers is quaffing." Jim grumbled, thrusting a second mug into my grasp.

"Shut yer hole, Jim, don't ye dare speak of me respectful mommy where I'm around! She was too good to be talking 'bout in a shabby tavern like the shitty likes o' this." I hissed narrowing my eyes at his old, scarred face. I had instinctively grabbed the hold of my cutlass, but released it once he turned his back at me once more. "And I can have as much o' him as I want." I added stubbornly, kissing the dirty tankard and then drank some.

Jim faced me again, studying me curiously. "Why do ye call the rum 'he', Lil?" he asked me, wiping an old glass with a dirty handkerchief.

"Why are ye calling ships 'she' then?" I asked right back with a sneer, trailing my finger along the edge of the table.

Jim fell silent.

The creaky door to the Singing Seaman swung open by a heavy boot and everyone inside turned to look at the enterer in a tomblike silence.

A scruffy man stood by the entrance, the dark alleyway behind the pirate was giving him a frightening appear but when he smirked, the candles from the tavern caught alight a few golden teeth inside his mouth and they sparkled warmly.

"Can't hear any singin' seamen in here, mates, must've read the mouldy sign wrong, eh." the stranger said gruffly, looking around the room with a mildly interested gaze, whilst everyone quickly averted their eyes from him.

Suddenly his eyes fell upon me and I tried hard not to melt in my chair when he stepped over the threshold, looking dashingly handsome. The tavern was still very quiet as every old sailor and pirate alongside with their whores secretly glanced at the bloke in astonishment. Perhaps he gazed at me because I was the only one without a company or the only one who dared to challenge his stare.

"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!" I sang jovially into the silence with a smirk on my lips. "Ahoy, there! I may not be a sea_man_, but hell do I sing better than these scurvy scoundrels 'ere! Cheers!" I raised the mug to my lips and took a long chug, my green eyes never leaving his dark brown ones.

The room was unexpectedly filled with laughter after my words and I couldn't help a grin that formed across my mouth as well.

The stranger chuckled nonchalantly and walked swaying his way through the room, all the while small trinkets jingling in his hair. And then he plopped into a seat beside me, curiously studying me up and down. Although I bet he was a bit disappointed not finding a whore's dress under the counter, but a pair of sand brown breeches, a black shirt and knee high boots, topping with a hat above my blonde curls.

"What will it be, mister -?" Jim narrowed his eyes in question at the man as he lay the rag aside.

"_Captain!_ Captain Jack Sparrow to ye, son!" he corrected with a toothy smirk.

The gulp I was taking from my mug of rum was suddenly sprayed out on the bartender who stood directly in front of me. I was so stunned that I didn't even bother to apologise for I had whipped towards the man and gaped at him with my jaw slacked open.

"And rum is what it'll be!" he ordered with a finger up in the air in front of his nose. "Oh, an' better give the bonny lass one as well, seeing that she spit it all over the place, savvy?" he winked at me as I stood up with shaky legs.

"C-Captain Jack Sparrow???" I stuttered in complete and utter disbelief.

"Aye! So you've heard o' me, eh?"

"Jack Sparrow? 'Course I've heard of _Jack Sparrow_!" I shrieked with my eyebrows raised high.

"Don't forget the Captain title, luv." he reminded with a crooked grin.

I shrugged and continued animatedly, "The one be damned and dense who has not heard o' ye; the alcoholic womanizer with his dirty harlots in every port from here to Singapore!" I added smirking and throwing my arms in the air, staring him up and down.

So, this was the man of the legends; the fearsome Captain of the Black Pearl, once marooned by his first mate, then rescued by a raft of sea turtles he tied together with the hair from his back……some say he confronted the Devil himself in order to get his ship back. Bollocks says I, but a bunch of adventures he must carry under that belt of his, the striking pirate man!

"Wha' can I say!…I do 'ave a way with the ladies!" said Jack flirtatiously.

I snapped my mouth shut and took the chance to extend my hand in excitement, "By thunder! Lilly Tanner is my name; never a captain but always a pirate! I didn't know you were still alive!" I exclaimed as he grabbed my hand and shook it firmly.

"Alive and well I am. Pleasure to meet ye, Tanner." said Jack slyly, smirking attractively.

"The pleasure's all mine!" I told him and sat back down, still studying his exterior carefully. "Well, Jim, where's the drink this chap promised me? Bang it on the counter, will ya?!" I said enthusiastically, pounding my fist into the counter once. Jim placed a keg of rum in front of me in a flash.

Sparrow laughed quietly a bit before sipping his drink slowly. "Mind if I ask what you're doin' here in this murky ol' town of Nassau? This be my haven and I don't welcome trespassers lightly, unless they 'ave a fair reason to pass, o' course." I replied. Somehow I wasn't able to take my eyes off him. For here I sat with a very famous pirate, talking friendly by a glass of rum.

"Me Black Pearl is in anchor fer a night, the business is my own. I'd be a fool if I was blabbering 'bout it like an upcoming wedding!" said Jack, his kohl rimmed eyes staring intensely into mine.

"Pity, I love weddings," I muttered into my mug.

"Aye, me too! Drinks all around!" he agreed grinning, wiggling his fingers and rolling his wrists before me. "Why don't we make a toast?"

"To weddings," I declared.

"Drinks," he added, raising his tankard.

"And really bad eggs!" I filled in, raising mine too.

We clinked our mugs together spilling rum on the table in front of us then we gulped the liquid down our throats and banged the empty pints on the counter with huge grins on our faces.

The door to the Singing Seaman creaked open once again and now a whole crew of pirates filed in one by one, the man in the lead was a round pirate with grey hair. His eyes scanned the area and stopped by the man next to me, Captain Jack Sparrow.

"Mother's Love! There you are Cap'n, still sober I hope? We thought ye'd gone drink yerself full at this early hour without yer crew!" he proclaimed with a smile as they all walked towards us.

A parrot, which sat perched on a man's shoulder, was suddenly squawking; "Shiver me timbers! Shiver me timbers!", receiving many glances.

The same sea-dog who spoke when they entered, eyed me cautiously before saying, "Ye found yourself company, Jack? No wonder ye wanted to come ahead of us……you bloody ladies' man!"

I grinned at the chubby man and said seductively, "And who's this eye-catching male, might I ask?"

Both of them sent me a horrified look, but my grin did not fade. "Mr. Gibbs, this be Lilly Tanner; a shrewd pirate lass, no lady I'm sure of it, me matey." he told the untidy member of his crew.

I scowled.

"Though I'm equally a man of them both, ladies or lassies, whichever ye prefer to be for the ways are the same, luv." Jack added to me with a wink as Gibbs and the rest of Jack's comrades seated themselves.

"Ye're one manipulating ruffian, Sparrow, I wish yer not me pirate man whichever I choose to be!" I informed him smartly, winking back with a simper. His crew sniggered and choked on their drinks as Jack glowered.

"That's wonderful, Tanner. Now I know yer a little bit of 'em both!" said Jack mockingly.

"Oh, don't recall anyone sayin' I was a bit of them both? I could be a sturdy man, packed with balls, harder than yers!" I retorted loudly and standing up, I grabbed the fabric of my breeches between my legs and gave it a shake.

The crew laughed again.

"'Ey, you know nothin' about the hardness of me testicles, me darling gal, but ye could find out by giving me a poke……or a stroke if ye dare," he smirked and gave my bum a slap.

I was supposed to be the perverted one here! He has no right to touch me up like that, even if it was just a slap on my behind!

"I see ye found yer match, Lil," Jim whispered to me over the counter.

I was seething with my face bright red. Jack and his crew of miscreants only laughed their arses off at my fury.

"Sorry to burst yer bubble, bu' I think poking and stroking is the duty of yer naughty tarts, Sparrow, 'cause a drinking game sounds more convenient for the slimy likes of me!" I said wickedly to Jack, after the laughter died away. "A drinking game, you heard that asscrack? Are ye up for the challenge or too afraid that a shrewd pirate like me might kick you and yer soft testicles all the way to Singapore?" I sneered with a scornful smirk, settling the score with my words.

The crowd, which had probably been listening to our conversation for a while, whispered 'No, no! Don't do it!', for they knew that I was the best player in poker these islands have ever seen!

"So, what say you?" I questioned again, placing my boot on the chair that I had been sitting on just to get my meaning through. An eight-inch dagger was sticking up from my boot dangerously.

"Hell yea'!" Jack cried, jumping up from his seat.

I snickered, rubbing my hands together evilly. Oh boy, this was going to be so much fun!

"Jolly good!" I shouted, as we moved to a nearby table. "Excuse me, strumpets, bu' could ye kindly fuck off, thanks?" I said to the prostitutes who sat there, before I pushed one off her chair and took a seat while the other made way to Jack, now I had my stool across from the notorious pirate captain himself.

Grinning I grabbed the cards from my pocket and looked up at him, my eyes twinkling.

"What're ye waitin' for? Spread out yer," he smirked mischievously with one cocked eyebrow seductively. "cards. I should've said legs, but that didn't fit in the moment, savvy?"

I rolled my eyes in frustration.

"Ye're one twisted pervert, Sparrow, I'm glad I don't know ye personally." I scoffed dealing out the cards.

"I generally don't bond those ties, Tanner, me personality is somethin' what ye'd call –" I cut him off.

" – twisted and perverted I'm sure! Now……the rules are following; the one who loses a round of poker, buys the winner a mug o' rum, the winner drinks her –"

" – or his –" Jack filled in.

" – or her rum while watching as the loser strips off one piece of clothing, gettin' a free show while drinkin', y'know." I explained, grinning like a madwoman.

Jack was gazing at me with mingled curiosity and alarm as the audience started to chuckle after my words.

"We didn't agree 'bout any stripping." Jack told me silently.

I leaned my upper body over the table so that my lips made contact with his ear and whispered huskily; "If ye chicken out now, ye'll be henceforth known as Captain Sparrow the King of Cowards, ya go with the flow?" I smirked devilishly as I felt him shiver.

"I think the perverted one is you, luv. If I win a round, ye'll be clear to undress as well?" he asked, pointing his index finger at me as I leaned back in my chair.

His companions whistled, obviously picturing that. I cast them a cold glare which made them quiet down. "Are we clear?" he questioned again.

I placed a finger on my chin, seriously thinking about my situation. "Inescapably clear! We have come to a final agreement!" I expanded my hand which he grabbed and shook. No turning back now.

"I'm gonna head off, Cap'n. There's no way in hell ye're forcing me to stay an' watch a nude woman gallivanting 'round a _public_ tavern." a dark skinned girl from Jack's crew stood up, waved her hat at us before turning to the door.

"I think ye ought to stay, lassie, 'cause I'm not the one endin' up naked here. It's this scabrous dog who's having my boot printed on his bare buttock on this night's end……I'm willin' to wager on that!" I told the girl beaming as she spun back to face us looking highly amused.

"Is dat so? Well, then. If ye promise that we're seein' Jack bare naked, I might consider staying." she said giving Jack an innocent smile.

Jack forged a gasp with a hand over his mouth. "Anamaria! I had no idea ye felt that way about me, woman!" Jack exclaimed as she took a seat beside the old sea-dog Gibbs.

"Nah, just wanna see yer ass kicked by a girl in poker." Anamaria answered with a crooked grin.

I chuckled slightly.

"Your wish is going to be granted. I'll swear on me dirty pirate honour that Jack Sparrow –" I begun.

"Captain!" Jack filled in. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

" – that _Captain_ Jack Sparrow is goin' to 'ave his nude ass full of splinters after I'm done playing." I grabbed my hat and placed it over my heart. "This saucy wench," I pointed at myself. "is the most excellent player of poker and she doesn't lie in matters like these," I added with a genuine smile.

"There's a church just up the street, Lil, just go over there and confess!" Jim yelled from behind the counter and made the whole tavern burst into cheerful laughter. I sniggered again, shaking my head.

"I think the vicar would get a heart attack out of chaste shock at the sight o' me and that's not a remarkable thing to happen in the house of the almighty, sexy Lord"! I answered with an energetic shout, smirking at Jim, who clicked his tongue in disapproval. That man was far too religious.

Jack banged his palms on the table and gave me a sudden fright.

"Blimey! Are you tryin' to kill me, ye tacky brute?" I asked angrily, rubbing my chest.

"I don't have the whole bloody night for this sort o' thing, so let's begin this game, Tanner……and prepare to strip." he warned me impatiently.

"Holy cads. That was exactly what I was going to say! We'll see who gets the drinks and the scantily clad opponent, Sparrow." I winked at him and picked up my cards. Jack did the same, eyeing me from the corner of his eye along his tanned nose.

And so the game began. Cheating, bluffing, distracting, irritating, these were the methods of pirate poker all the while the crowd had themselves a merry time, laughing at the two foolish devils in the dim candlelight. I was winning, but Jack had made himself a pretty good challenger, one I wouldn't like to play against another time when he knew all my tricks. He was sitting there in his boots and breeches only (his coat, vest, shirt and hat off), torso bare and looking incredibly handsome. I still had a very hard time to take my eyes off him. I was wearing my shirt, knickers, boots and hat (something which I insisted on having as a piece of clothing) when my breeches were tied around Jack's neck after I had stupidly thrown them at him in frustration of losing one round. I was drunk, so was Jack and the whole crowd of pirates and whores, but the night was still young and the game was not over.

"Ye smell nice, luv." Jack commented after a long silence where every eye was set upon us. "I could make use of a scent like this in me bed one night." he mumbled and sniffed my breeches.

I grimaced in dislike.

"By thunder, mate, I hope you're not suggesting what I think you are?!" I enquired reluctantly, swaying on the chair.

He only gave me a sinful smirk before turning back to his cards.

"That's sickening! The night my lovely aroma comes drifting off to _yer_ bed, is the nigh' I'll lose a game o' strip poker in this hellhole of a hometown in Jim's Singing Seaman!" I grunted with lowered eyebrows.

Jack was instantly looking up at me with a grin spreading across his face. "Shall we add that to the game then? If you, Lilly Tanner, lose this game o' strip poker, ye'll make very sure me comfy bed stays warm one night after this, eh?" he asked with his dark eyes twinkling mirthfully.

I gaped at him, speculating what the hell my answer should be. If I said no, I'd be called a coward from now on, if I said yes for the matter and lost, I'd have to sleep with him! But what if – "What say you?" Sparrow questioned.

"Aye! Aye is my answer!" I exclaimed in anticipation.

Jack reached his hand out for me to shake it.

"Just to seal the pact, luv." he clarified grinning, his gold teeth glimmering in the faint light.

I grabbed his hand, crushing his fingers.

"I'll make sure ye won't feel too chilly _one_ night in your pitiful life _if_ I lose this game, bucko!" I spoke clearly.

"Now that's just splendid, eh fellows?" said Jack to his filthy crew after letting go of my hand. "Having the fascinating Miss Tanner making sweet, hot love to me for many sweaty hours in me delightful king-sized bed on a bouncing mattress tha' –"

"Enough, you moron! Ye're making the kiddos go wild," I nudged my head in the direction of the giggling audience.

"All right, I'll win this game, count on that, darling." Jack said enthusiastically and blew me a kiss.

"Not if I can help it!" I cried, catching the invisible kiss and squashing it with my hand. "Let's not waste another expensive minute o' me time, let's play……and stop staring at my breasts, ye bilge rat." I muttered snappily. And so we continued……

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_A/N:_ Phew! The end of chapter one. Second one coming up soon! ;) And now it's your turn to tell me whatcha think. Just press that lil' button in the corner that says 'GO' and review! C'mon, don't be shy! Thanks for reading though, mateys!

- "I love weddings……drinks all around!" -


	2. Stolen Goods

_A/N:_ Hey again, luvs. Man, this ficcy is amusing me. Lilly is such a fun character to write! :) Oh, and remember to review after reading, you know what happens if you don't (keep your toes safe)! Review about the weather if you like or about Jack Sparrow (drool), just tell me about anything! I'm in love with reviews, so give my grumpy face a huge smile by reviewing! Thanksies! Oh, yes, and this fic won't be very long, but there will be more to it than just a game of strip poker, I'll try not to make it too boring and stripping shall be included to the story all the time (mostly on Jack Sparrow's part just so you know, oh! I didn't say that, did I? NOOO……heh heh, now you just have to read more, eh?).

_Disclaimer: _Err, actually, NO! I don't own a bloody thing! Except for Lilly, Jim and the other ones you don't recognize at all. Thank you reading this very boring disclaimer, which you know couldn't be the truth if I started saying that 'hi, I own Pirates of the Caribbean, ain't that cool, yo?'……

Special thanks to reviewers: terradaina, Lady Lire Snowstorm, The Dairy Queen, Maien, Ryu-Gi, Loonargh, Gizmo LittleWing, alexa, MidnightDreams87, Clueless-Patty and Galaxia-Dawn!

Thanks a bunch; this chapter is dedicated to you!

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Playing with Fire

Chapter Two: Stolen Goods

He was getting the hang of my game, which wasn't a good sign. Not good at all, considering that I had to hold up my reputation as the best poker player in Nassau and he could not be the one to literally strip me from my title. It was soon time for some serious disruption for him, a stunt I had planned a long while to pull. We were both drunker than before we begun and I had difficulties to keep my concentration, partly because of Jack's present half nakedness and partly because of the rum I had consumed.

"We're rascals, scoundrels, villains and knaves, drink up me hearties, yo ho!" I sang heartily alongside with Jack. "We're devils, black sheep and really bad eggs, drink up me hearties, yo ho!" I was swaying on my chair with a pint of rum in my hand, trying to hold my laughter and continue to play the game.

"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!" Jack finished the song, taking a gulp of his drink with a grin.

I started giggling at his rough, manly voice when he sang and received many strange glances that told me I was insane. Jack smirked and looked at his cards once more.

"That's an adorably cute shirt, Tanner, mind if I……win it off in a tick?" Jack suggested shortly.

The mass of people around us sniggered at his unsophisticated comment.

"I'd like to rip off yer pants at first, ye mangy cad." I answered gruffly.

"Arr! I love it when ye talk dirty, me naughty wench!" said Jack sexily.

I tried to hold my face even and not punch him as hard as I could, for that was called sexual harassment.

"Oh, Sparrow, my only true love, I'll do anything for you!" I said batting my eyelashes, my language proper English and my attitude holier-than-thou.

"Please, call me Jack, just this once." he winked and suddenly I felt something creep along my bare thigh under the table. It was slithering upwards between my legs, rubbing and massaging pleasantly, until –

"Can't pass tha' up, _Jack_!" I hissed and clenched my legs close, leaving his foot trapped between them. I sneaked my hand below the scraped mahogany-table and took his leather boot off and started unmercifully tickling his foot. His reaction was unforgettable! His dark eyes widened slightly, his lips pursed as he tried to hold his laughter, looking like a fool aflame.

"Footsie isn't allowed, blighter." I whispered to him when he tried to yank his foot from my grasp but failed utterly and almost fell from his chair.

"Tanner, stop! No, don't……please, ye 'ave stop right now……" he pleaded silently, his laughing eyes staring into mine.

The listeners were completely unaware of events, only seeing the rogue captain cry for mercy.

"Oh, so ye like it and want more, is that it?" I questioned croakily and carried on with tickling him, he shook his head fiercely, the jewellery clinging softly. Oh, how I enjoyed keeping him on fire! Gibbs, I saw, raised his eyebrows to the highest term I've known to man.

Then Jack couldn't take it any longer. He broke down into rough, joyful chortles that filled the tavern and confused the others entirely. He threw his cards on the table and tried to pry off his leg from my grip.

"Lovely! Looks like I won again! A Full House outdoes a Straight, ye scruffy sea-dog!" I shouted in bliss and released his foot making Jack fall off his chair onto the hard wooden floor.

"You cheated!" he panted angrily, hauling himself up. "Ye disgrace o' a lady! You cheated and I want me boot back!" he demanded promptly.

I shook my head and hugged his smelling boot to my chest.

"Nah! I'll keep it safe until yer breeches come off, me dearie!" I told him sweetly, giving a smile that exposed my pearly whites, rather yellows in fact. Jack scowled, looked away from me and muttered something ugly about me though I couldn't exactly hear what was said.

"Smartly now, smartly now! We don't have the whole fuckin' night, do we?" I exclaimed, sniffing his boot, though just a few milliseconds later, I discovered that that wasn't the cleverest thing to do. "Oh, yuck! Yer feet must smell really, really terrible, if this is the nasty stench your boots carry……Damn, talk about really bad eggs……I think I'm gonna be sick," I muttered in disgust.

"Look out, there's Commodore Norrington!" Jack yelled suddenly and was pointing frantically somewhere behind me.

"Who?" I asked in confusion, knitting my eyebrows together. Who was he talking about? "Who's Commodore – "

"The feared Commodore of Port Royal, coming to put yer tanned ass in prison, Tanner!" Jack exclaimed, still pointing furiously behind me.

"How the freakin' hell do ye know me ass is –" I shut up when I registered exactly what he said. "Oh, crap! Where, where is he?" I cried in panic. "Help! I'm not ready to be hanged! Don't arrest me Commodore, please! I'm too young to die!" I yelped with my hands over my head and spinning around I stared into the dark, _empty_ corner behind me with my eyes wide as wheels.

No Commodore in sight there. Jack Sparrow ran a rig on me! I turned back to look at him in rage whilst the rest of the crowd was laughing mirthfully.

"Ha, ha, ha. Extremely witty, darling!" I scoffed sarcastically and averted my eyes to the table, where the cards lay. I looked at mine, instantly noting that my Full House was replaced by a bloody Straight.

Damn.

"Ah, looks like I beat ye to it, Tanner. A Full House does better than a good ol' Straight, doesn't it?" Jack told me, his eyes gleaming excitedly.

I gaped at him like a fish on dry land, trying somehow to get a word out of my mouth.

"But – but – you switched the cards, for pete's sake!" I shrieked in horror. "You bloody hornswaggling bastard, that's unfair! You switched the cards behind me back!" I said angrily with lowered eyebrows and my hands came to rest on my hips.

"Too bad ye forgot to say tha' was not allowed in this game, luv. Start stripping, and where's that blasted old man with my drink?" Jack looked around for Jim. A large tankard, full of tasty rum, was soon placed in front of his nose, but I was still too shocked to do a thing.

"You filthy, cheating, horrible, mean, disrespectful, rude, dirty, unreliable, stinking, stubby-fingered, untrustworthy, cruel, revolting, treacherous, perverted, crooked pile of crab dung with a shitty sense of humour! That was – I would've never – it was _completely_ –" Jack cut my sentence off.

"- honest and incredibly stylish." he finished for me with a grin. "Ouch. Quite a vocabulary you got there, lassie, but let's see about yer assets." he said, leaning back in his chair.

I knew my face went crimson from anger and steam was probably protruding out of my ears at this rate. "Just start with taking off the shirt and then we'll move to the undergarments, me dear girl." he winked at me.

"As you wish……ye nasty little bugger." I mumbled through gritted teeth when I placed my hat aside and started tugging off my shirt.

The catcalls and whistles made me want to burn the whole place down in a single flame of fire which I hoped would escape my mouth once I opened it to throw Sparrow a mocking retort about his pervy-ness……

BOOM!

I stopped midway in taking off my shirt and sat unmoving as the tavern shook after the weird explosion which had made the whole crowd in the room quiet down.

"By thunder! What the heck was that?! What did you do now, Sparrow, something disgusting and smelling perchance?" I asked from under my shirt, thinking that he maybe farted.

I heard him snort and answer: "No, ye bloody idiot, it's –"

BOOM!

" – cannon fire." he calmly finished his sentence and now I heard the crowd start to panic and run amuck the tavern, scrambling up from their seats and hurrying for the door.

"And as much as I'd like to carry on with this exciting game with yer loveliness, we'll 'ave to finish it another more appropriate time, Tanner, for I must whiz and save the day. Ta, luv!" Sparrow mumbled in my ear and then he was gone.

The chairs scraped the floor as whores started screaming and running out since the next cannonballs hit the town with disastrous results. I was still sitting but suddenly felt myself being pushed off my chair onto the hard wooden floor with a thump.

"Ow, ow, ow……now that wasn't nice at all……eunuchs, all of 'em!" I grumbled.

"Up ye go!" Jim's hoarse voice said in my ear all of sudden and he dragged me up from the ground. The shirt was still blinding me but I struggled to keep my balance.

"Crikey! What the blazes is going on?" I questioned in puzzlement. "I've got a game to play! I'm still – oh, shit! Help me with this shirt, ye ol' wretch!" Jim and I finally got the shirt back on me properly and now I could see that the tavern was emptying at high speed, a cannonball had hit the eastside wall and made a huge hole, smoke and flames starting to take over the place.

I looked around me, Sparrow and his brigand crew were nowhere in sight, nor were my breeches……

BOOM!

"We've gotta run, Lilly! Bad pirates be runnin' about and the town is under attack!" Jim exclaimed, visibly terrified.

"No shit, Mr. Obvious." I muttered sardonically.

Suddenly a rather important subject popped into my mind and I started shouting, "My pants! Where my – where my pants at?!" I yelled in terror. "My pants are gone! I need my pants! Holy moly, Jesus Christ……Can't leave without my pants, nor _live_ for the matter! That thief……I know tha' bloody Sparrow stole my pants!" I yelled outrageously, clenching my hands into fists. I had to hunt him down……and get my breeches back!

I pounced for the door but Jim stopped me just in time I was about to do something implausibly stupid.

"Wait! Ye're unarmed and half naked. So, take this wit' ya, lass!" he placed an old, strange item in my arms and I stopped, staring bewildered down at it.

"And what exactly is this? Should I put it on meh?" I asked, forgetting the battle outside for a minute, studying the wooden thing with strange strings that made beautiful noises when played gently. It was definitely not something to put on oneself. "It's pretty, though……" I mumbled stupidly.

"It's a violin, Lil. Yer mother's old one. Take it with you, ye'll know why precisely when the time comes!" he whispered and pushed me towards the door.

"Eh?" I raised my eyebrows, staggering. "How can I put this funky thingy on me then? Is this helping the situation that I am soon practically prancing nude around a fuckin' harbour with horny perverts gallivanting about, their cutlasses raised (not only the cutlasses made out of steel, but the _other_ ones as well), looking for innocent girls to rape? I'll be an easy target out there, my friend!" I gulped, pointing at the door while I spoke to Jim through the thick smoke and eyed the violin suspiciously.

BOOM!

"Get out o' here now! They're tearing this place down!" Jim shouted, ignoring my statement, whilst running behind the counter, grabbing his money and two bottles of rum, which I assumed were high on his take-with-you-in-threatening-circumstances-or-die-without- list.

A cannon ball flew through the building again and shook the pillars of the house, making me fall on my butt with a yelp, the violin clutched tightly in my hands.

"I will rip those whelps apart once I get me bare hands on 'em, limb by limb for destroyin' Nassau, or better, I'll make them meet the rope's end until their asses are inflaming red……" I grunted quietly, continuing to make more threats under my breath.

"Get going, ye daft cow!" Jim yelled heatedly.

I got up from the floor and seizing my hat from a table, I scurried towards the door with one last backward glance.

"Farewell, me girl, I 'ave a feeling we won't be seein' each other so soon!" he cried and I shook my head.

"Codswallop, Jim. I'll be back before long, I just need to chase these blasted intruders out o' me town – oh, damn it! I don't even have a cutlass on me, that went with pants too……Oh, God, why do ye hate me……" I sniffed, but breeches-less, unarmed and carrying a violin I swayed out into the dark night filled with screams and explosions, wondering what I was to do now.

I stood stiff as a plank outside the Singing Seaman, watching silently my hometown burn.

"Oh, son o' a bitch, here we go……" I muttered and started trotting down the road, the fresh mud splashing beneath my boots as my eyes scanned the area for possible weapons and enemies.

Nassau's military was running around with their rifles aimed at the attacking pirates who swarmed into the town, pillaging, plundering and all that piratey stuff they usually do, all the while the inhabitants of the town tried to get away from the raiders.

Obviously I wasn't looking much where I was running, for suddenly I collided into something smelling and muscular, which wore clothes and probably belonged to the human race. Probably.

"Hey, watch it, fuckwit!" I shouted, falling on my back onto the ground, getting another person on top of me.

"Well, well, we shall meet again, Miss Tanner." I opened one eye and saw Captain Jack Sparrow grinning down at me, his gold teeth very visible this time.

I scowled. My breeches were still tied around his neck unfortunately (he must be addicted to my scent, poor bloke)……

"So it seems, Captain Sparrow." I stated, sighing. "Get up, ye cocky pig, yer pistol's in a dire position against me thigh……" I murmured, trying to push the heavy form of Jack Sparrow off me.

He chuckled lightly and heaved himself up with a little effort. "Ah, bu' ye see, me pistol's over here, luv," Jack told me, taking his pistol from behind his back, where it had been neatly placed under his sash.

I didn't even want to think further.

Hauling myself up from the soil with a heavy puff escaping my mouth, I picked up the fallen violin and threw him a big mocking smile. "A rather hurtful run in, wasn't it? The landing could've gone softer, y'know, I'm more of an 'on the top' person, catch it, darling?" I grinned with a malevolent glint in my eye.

Jack's eyes widened, obviously not believing that it was me this time making a sexual innuendo. "Keep yer kinky little thoughts to yerself, Tanner," he said aggravated.

Ha! So, he doesn't like a taste of his own game? Got to keep that in mind……

"What are you implyin'? That I'm a pervert?" I gasped on purpose, trying to look as innocent as possible. "Never!" I said and reached for my breeches, but he leaned away and slapped my hand away with his. "Those belong to me, for yer information. I've been hysterically scampering around Nassau, trying to find them, imbecile. And I'd be much obliged if ye'd hand 'em back now, Sparrow, just so I don't have to walk around in me knickers anymore and freeze me buttocks off at the same moment." I demanded in a low voice.

"Tanner, I saw ye step out o' the Singing Seaman just a jiffy ago, and if 'hysterically scampering around Nassau' means running ten feet down a street, it's me duty to stare at yer long legs, wondering where the _hell_ they're leading up to –" he quieted down as I glowered, folding my arms over my chest.

"I didn't say that aloud, did I?" Jack enquired, flashing me a bright toothy smile.

I nodded curtly. "I should give ye a medal for being the most –"

"Save the chitchat, me darling luv; a band of fifty rabid pirates are running this way, apparently seen yer half nakedness and wanting to catch a glimpse of more, savvy?" said Jack grabbing my upper arm and we started running unsteadily down towards the harbour, me and my violin hanging after him, trying to keep up with his speed.

"Where exactly are we goin', man? This runnin' ain't the thing fer me, I'm still loaded to the gunwalls, I am," I shouted to him, the docks soon in sight with two large pirate ships bathing in the shimmering moonlight, anchored by the piers. One pitch black and the other one painted in different shades of dark red.

"The Black Pearl, missy!2 he answered, casting me a crooked grin. I had the urge to stop but his grip around my arm was too tight to get out of.

The Black Pearl was a _ship_, right? Oh no……

"A little faster, Tanner," Jack said, tugging my sleeve for me to run quicker. "If ye don't want to get harassed by those gents behind ye, then put some speed in yer ass, luv," he advised. I glanced behind me, detecting that he was telling the truth.

Dirty pirates were really after us!

Shit.

"Oi, Sparrow! Leave the poppet to us!" one of them yelled.

"My apologies, scoundrel, the woman owes me somethin' and she's comin' with me!" Jack cried back, winking at me.

"I am?" I questioned flabbergasted. Sparrow nodded swiftly and the last sprint to the ship was ahead of us.

Suddenly a group of navy soldiers clad in red coats and armed with dangerous rifles jumped in front of us, making both of us halt and Jack draw his sword.

Double shit.

"I command you to stop right now, pirates!" one of them spat at us, his face emotionless in the dark night as he squeezed the gun tighter.

I rolled my eyes grunting mockingly, "We stopped already, idiot, if ye didn't notice."

"Lilly Tanner?" came an astounded question. I grinned broadly. Man, it's so easy to be famous and popular around Nassau.

"The one and only." I replied, beaming. "Pleasure to meet you, soldier boys, but me and my tatty comrade are in a big, big hurry, if you know wha' I mean……" I nudged my head behind us at the pirates, who were coming nearer, but slowed down once they noticed the navy mates.

"Yes, yes, of course. Go on, Lilly Tanner, we'll hold the bandits for you!" the soldier said and stepped away from our path. Jack and I jogged past them but not before hearing; "Was that Jack Sparrow, the scourge of the seven seas?"

Jack looked mighty pleased but murmured, "_Captain_" in an exasperated tone which I distinguished amidst the chaos of the night.

"Scourge of the seven seas, eh?" I repeated amused and laughed wholeheartedly as we continued to run towards the Black Pearl. I had to hold my hat securely on top of my head in case it would fly away. The crew was already aboard and the ship was prepared to sail from the bay.

We finally reached the end of the dock and I stopped abruptly, my boots squealing against the wood under me. This was it. Jack turned back to look at me when he was about to climb aboard, helped by his crew.

"Ye're leaving with us, Tanner, we've got a thrilling game to play," he said, a smirk spreading across his lips. "An' who knows wha' adventures might come across our course. Oh, I've got yer pants as well," he added suggestively, patting the breeches around his neck.

Adventures! I would love to go on an adventure!

I opened my mouth to answer, but it was too dry and no words were capable of forming around my tongue. I glanced at the ship nervously, pulling the strings of the violin, making a horrid sound and when complains came, I had to stop.

"What's the crisis, luv? Afraid that me Pearl's gonna bite ya?" he asked, sniggering to his own joke.

I managed a small, false smile.

"It's just that……I haven't been aboard a ship……ever……in me entire life." I said with a light titter and shifted my weight from one foot to the other, the wind ruffling my hair.

Captain Jack Sparrow gaped at me in utter disbelief.

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_A/N: _Err, a surprise ending? Was it? And what's this: Lilly hasn't been aboard a ship in her whole life? Whoa, that's pretty bad for a pirate, eh? Now it's yer duty to (unsheathes sword and waves it, threatening the readers) REVIEW! Arr! Remember your toes, chap, keep 'em safe by reviewing! ;)

- "Now……bring me that horizon." -


	3. Aboard New Decks

_A/N:_ Updating once again, as you can see, fellow fanfic junkies. Back with the third crazy chapter filled with PotC craziness! ;) Lilly is in order to explain herself, don't you think? Ah, yes, let's continue, shall we? The story started out quite nicely, Jack and Lilly as mates, but wonder what it will turn into once she's aboard the Pearl. Will everything go smoothly between them? Will there be hate, lust or jealousy? Did Jack make the right choice when he dragged Lilly off with them? Dunno, but one is about to find out!!!

_Disclaimer:_ I own everything, every character and every aspect. (smirk)

Forever grateful to reviewers: terradaina, Clueless-Patty, FunkyDonkey, Nicoletta Sparrow, AlatarielSparrow, Starfall88, Lady Cyann, Maien, Autumn Sunlight!!!

Yes, all of you made me smile. Still smiling actually! :) Thanks very much!

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Playing with Fire

Chapter Three: Aboard New Decks

"Holy Hell!" Jack exclaimed out of nowhere, staring at me in shock.

He was making me extremely uncomfortable by the peculiar way he was looking at me with misunderstanding written all over his dirt smudged face, his eyes wide and his mouth forming a small 'o' under his dark moustache. Yet after a short while, true discovery of my words dawned upon him, I could tell.

Closing my eyes, I awaited his harsh judgement, which I knew would follow my embarrassing revelation. He was bound to start teasing me, but why did it take so long?

Suddenly I heard a loud bark of laughter and slowly opening my eyes I found him in front of me and laughing his head off, clutching his ribcage as if afraid it would fall off.

And apparently, he did have the bloody nerve to stand there and freely laugh at me, at the moment when I was being sincere! He would pay dearly about that. I glanced around anxiously, tapping my foot to the stiff dock beneath me, expecting him to stop his fit soon or I would do it for him……with a lot of violence.

"And what, prey tell, is just so fuckin' funny?!" I spat, narrowing my eyes into slits and clutching the violin forcefully.

It took a while until he calmed down and after that, his lips seemed to wear a permanent grin which I wished to wipe away with one powerful punch.

"Ye're shittin' me, I say. Never been aboard a ship in ones life, that's pure bullshit, lass. Not even eunuchs does that badly!" he scoffed with mirth. "Aye, but a good entertaining tale it was, Tanner, indeed!" he chuckled, stroking his goatee with smooth fondles.

I frowned. "I was _not_ joking, butthead, I was stating a fact; I really, truly, honestly haven't been aboard a ship." I said matter-of-factly. "And one more cackle which escapes yer trap is smothered with a blow of my fist, catch that?" I warned, waving my fist about. Jack nodded with that same, annoying grin still playing across his mouth.

"Ye must still be quite squiffy, luv," he mumbled.

"What was tha'?" I questioned, raising my fist.

Jack flashed me a bigger grin and said, "Nothin'."

I nodded once, glaring venomously at him.

"All right, let's pretend tha' what ye say is true, be a pretty pirate and enlighten me an itty bitty bit, please, firstly I want to be asking –"

"O' course you can be the ass king, dear! No need to be questioning about it! Oh, and shove that 'let's pretend that what ye say is true'- speech, up yer arse, for I know I'm speakin' the truth, fucker!" I replied rolling my eyes, still rather irritated that he had laughed at me.

He paused, gritting his teeth. That second was probably dedicated to ignore my fine comment for he continued like he hadn't heard a shot.

"How come you call yerself a pirate, Tanner, when ye haven't even been aboard a ship, let alone a boat in yer whole life?" Sparrow asked, gazing at me intensely, a new fire burning in his eyes.

I huffed and folded my arms over my chest, tilting my nose a bit into the air. "I call myself several other things than just a plain pirate, even if I haven't been on a ship or boat." I answered with pride. "I've been called a rascal, scoundrel, villain, knave, devil, black sheep and –"

"Really bad egg?" Jack recommended wickedly.

"I was coming to that, ye twit!" I growled and hit his arm roughly. Jack winced and rubbed the spot I had smacked. "One could say that the song is made fer me."

"Ahoy Cap'n, we must leave port immediately!" we heard a shout from the Black Pearl where the crew was hoisting the sails, ready to set sail.

The night was getting bloodier by the minute we stood there and talked. I could hear faint gunshots from the town where a battle of life and death was progressing between the navy and the enemy pirates.

"Ah, looks like tha' was our cue to leave, Tanner, now le's go!" Jack told me with a swift motion of his hand, turning around.

I panicked and froze, unable to follow him.

"I'm _not _coming! No way in hell, ye lout! I'll be absolutely no use on that bloody deck of yours, because I cannot sail, I cannot mend anything, I cannot navigate, I cannot cook, I cannot do that stuff you do to the rigging, I cannot do anything at all on board that horror _boat_!" I cried out and made Jack stop mid-step.

He turned back to look at me with a determined expression on his face.

"Simple; I'll teach ye." said Jack with a shining smirk.

My mouth dropped open as he took a firm grip of my wrist and started leading me towards the Black Pearl. "And just noting: she's a _ship_, ye bloody landlubber." he added, a fidgeting finger in the air.

"Ship, boat, he, she……whatever!" I groaned. "But I'm not putting one boot on that filthy deck……I'll rather eat worms!" I hissed and tried to yank my hand from him. "And come to think of it, what about me ol' mate Jim, the owner of the Singing Seaman? I can't leave 'im and Nassau alone, they needs me!"

"They're both gonna be all right, ye dense strumpet. 'Ey, above and beyond, you want yer pants back? Ye want to finish that electrifying game of poker we had to put into a pause?" Jack inquired, placing a hand on my breeches which were around his neck like an awfully old-fashioned scarf.

Now really thinking about it, I wanted my breeches back. That was the main reason I had stepped out of the Singing Seaman earlier that evening. And what became of that poker game, one had to wait and see.

Besides, I could not shove aside my largest dream and my biggest fear, which happened to be the same thing; to finally be able to sail a ship like a true pirate. I had to face it someday, though that day seemed to have arrived. I inhaled deeply, staring at the Black Pearl with newfound courage.

And the adventures which awaited me aboard……

"Aye, I'll come wit' ye lot, but only if I get to keelhaul someone." I said smiling, gripping the violin in my hand quite strongly. Sparrow laughed and grabbed my wrist again.

"If ye find someone to keelhaul, I give ye permission to it, luv," he started dragging me aboard, although I was walking by my onesies already.

I smiled secretly, "Oh, goodie, bu' you're the first one me list, shithead," I told him cheerfully, thinking about all the dirty stuff he had done to me during our game of strip poker.

I jumped on board, instantly disturbed by the rocking of the waves. "Oh Gods……Unsteady, unsteady……easy now, lil' land legs, ye're goin' to make it through this……" I told my legs and breathed deeply in and out.

"Good evenin', Captain and Miss Tanner," Gibbs called with a wave of his hand.

"Tanner." Anamaria nodded professionally. I nodded back and was greeted by the rest of the crew as well.

"Weigh the anchor, ye retarded swabs! Get this bloody ship in a move!" Jack yelled to his crew, walking nonchalantly towards the helm, grabbing my shoulder on the way and walked me with him.

"Ow! Hands off, pansy," I warned. "I'm tryin' to get used to this……this wobbly dinghy……" I muttered, spreading out my arms to keep my balance better that way.

Jack was not listening to me once again, the egoistical bastard, just rambling on as usual;

"I don't want ye makin' any kind o' nuisance aboard me ship, is that clear, Tanner?" Jack asked as the Black Pearl was untied from the dock.

"I won't go guaranteeing anything, scallywag. It was you who wanted me aboard in the first place!"

Oh, you go guessing what crooked thoughts took over my brain at that exact second. I couldn't help but feel extremely rebellious, plotting and scheming nasty things.

Jack's jaw dropped. "What are ye sayin', woman?"

"Oh, nothin', sir," I said, innocently smiling as the ship sailed out of the bay, leaving a burning Nassau behind. "Just tha' ye might've made a huge mistake lettin' me tag along, me heartie……" I thought and watched Sparrow from afar.

Needless to say, that grin was certainly eternal on my tanned, slightly freckled face.

This was going to be one hell of an adventure!

BOOM!

"BLOODY HELL, WE'RE HIT!!! TAKE ME BACK TO SHORE!!! YE HAVE TO TAKE ME BACK TO SHORE!!! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!"

A hand was clapped over my mouth and my body thrown over someone's shoulder, while I kept screaming to be let down and taken to fast grounds.

I landed on a big, snug bed in a dark room, but a pair of angry eyes blocked my curious study of the cabin.

"Christ, Sparrow! Ye could've told me tha' sea-life was this dangerous! Someone blew a hole in yer ship, man, do somethin' about it!" I hollered in panic and scrambled to get up, but Jack's strong arms held me in place.

"What the fuckin' hell are ye trying to do, eh? Scarin' the shit out o' me crew is not a wise decision, Tanner, and me ship does NOT have any bloody holes!!!" he spoke through clenched teeth, his eyes bearing that same fire I saw once before……Hell, it was seriously turning me on!

"Easy there, mate, it was just a cunning plan to get yer handsomeness below," I explained smugly, wriggling my eyebrows seductively. "Ye're just where I wanted ye to be……" I smirked and ran a finger along his arm.

Sparrow made a low grunt somewhere in his throat and jumped a huge step backwards.

"Remind me not to speak with ye in a few days time," Jack murmured, rubbing his eyes.

"'Ey, don't do tha', Captain, the kohl's gonna wear off," I pouted with glee.

He groaned and stormed out of the cabin, locking it behind him. "Was it sensible to take her aboard?……I don't even know her, god damn it!" I could hear his rough voice growl as he walked back up on deck.

"Oh boy……Admit it, Lilly, you're one lucky poppet." I said to myself.

I laughed, throwing my head back. "Welcome to the Black Pearl, Miss Tanner……" I murmured softly, looking around the cabin.

I knew there would be a lot of surprises in the future, some more shocking than the other, but one thing I knew for certain;

Sparrow was _not_ going to have a merry time with the likes of me on board. Too bad men are such horny creatures and captivated by games of strip poker, because I know –

"Jack made a huge mistake lettin' me trot along……" I grinned mischievously, getting up from the bed. "Don't think he'd mind me takin' a nightcap," I grabbed a bottle of rum and let the liquid slide down my throat, licking my insides pleasurably.

OOO

He did mind me taking a nightcap, he minded very much actually. Still a few days later, my hands were sore from all the dirty work he had put me through after that night he found me shit-faced in his bed, begging him to shag me. He didn't, thank the Lord. But he did throw me out of his cabin and locked the door in front of my nose and I had to sneak into Mr. Gribbs's bed. The old sea-salt was mighty pleased, I bet, but wisely I did not beg him to have sex with me, otherwise I would've thrown myself overboard. Afterwards he told me shyly that I stank like a rotten fish when drunk and got Jack into fits of laughter.

I was in friendly terms with the crew, though Jack was irritated out of his wits when I flirted with the males, making Anamaria laugh. She was a nice pirate lady, though a bit uptight and stuck-up. She told me the REAL history of the Black Pearl, the truth about Jack and the sea turtles and that bloke Barbossa. Told ya, bollocks all of it! No Devil was included, excluding a bugger almost like one named Jack Sparrow.

And to think that Sparrow was teaching me all the sea matters about ships and navigating, while starting gravely to despise my guts. I wonder why? I'm a charming pirate, no one can dislike me!

He hadn't even mentioned our poker game as the voyage continued, but I had a strange feeling that he had not forgot about it and we would soon finish it, one winner, one loser.

I had once feared ships and boats, the ocean generally, but aboard the Black Pearl, I felt safe. It was like my new home after seeing Nassau burn into oblivion. I sure hoped Jim was all right……

"Out o' the naughty daydreams, luv, I've got an assignment fer ye," Jack's rough voice interrupted my thoughts and I turned my head calmly in his direction.

I was sitting on my cot in Anamaria's and my cabin, practicing to play the violin I had inherited from my mother.

"Smashing……" I said sarcastically. "What dreadful task 'ave ye cooked up for me doom today, sir?" I asked with a sweet honeyed voice, pretending to be interested.

"Somethin' that involves slave labour, Tanner, now get yer ass up in a jiffy," he told me, motioning for me to stand up.

I moaned and leaned my head into the pillow. "Bugger off, Sparrow ye dull bastard, I'm in no condition to be workin'. These land legs are still getting used to all this seafaring……and me tummy might 'ave a thing or two to say……" as to get my meaning through, I dragged myself up from the bed and hurried to the open window and made disgusting sounds as if I was puking.

Once I pulled my head back in, I saw Jack sigh and check an invisible clock on his wrist.

"Nice try, me darling gal, but this time 'round no mercy," his eyes grew cold.

"It's not jolly to keep grudges, chum, they give ye wrinkles when scheming too much," I explained.

"Ah, better think before ye act, dear, that rum was mine,"

"Oh, so this _was_ about that one drink I had while alone in yer stinkin' cabin, locked in with rotten fruits and smelling stockings, but why didn't ye say so immediately! I'll be honoured to be yer slave, oh, you high-and-mighty Sire," I replied with thick sarcasm oozing from my words.

Jack rolled his brown eyes and motioned for me to follow him. "It wasn't just one bottle, luv, it was me whole stack……" he added, crossed. I got up leaving the violin behind and swaggered behind him towards the galley, humming a happy tune.

"This pirate, has a hat, his knickers in a bunch and stinkin' crap. With an 'Arr, arr, arr' and an 'Aye, Matey', this pirate sailed on the sea." I sang cordially while hopping along the corridor, right after Jack. "This pirate, has a boat, it has a hole and doesn't float. With an 'Arr, arr, arr' and an 'Aye, Matey', this pirate sailed on the sea. This pirate, has a whip, did it when I told him to strip. With an 'Arr, arr, arr' and an 'Aye, Matey', this pirate sailed on the –"

"Please keep yer trap shut fer a moment's peace for my sake?!" Jack barked, throwing me a glance of detest.

"Aye, aye, Captain." I said mockingly as we entered the galley.

Good, gracious God.

I might consider taking a job wiping the Governor's arse……please, I'm not in the mood for this……

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_A/N:_ Fun, fun, fun!!! And hell breaks loose aboard the Pearl. REVIEWS appreciated! Thank ye so much fer reading! :) Oh, the disclaimer was all lies and wishes, don't take it too seriously! (wink wink) And the song which Lilly was singing does not belong to me, though I changed the words innit a bit……

- "Son……I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?" -


End file.
